Biblical Intimacy: Reclaiming God’s Design for Sex in Marriage | Let's Talk Biblical

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If you love talking about the Bible as
much as I do, then I think you'll really
enjoy this show. Welcome to Let's Talk
Biblical, the podcast where we dig deep
into the heart of scripture, explore
timeless truths, and have real
conversations about what the Bible says
and how it applies to us. My name is
Lex, and I want to thank you for joining
me on today's episode. So, grab your
Bible, get comfortable, and let's talk
biblical.
What if I told you that one of God's
greatest gifts to married couples is
also one of the most misunderstood and
neglected subjects in the church today?
I'm talking about intimacy. Yes, even
sexual intimacy between husbands and
wives. For too long, Christians have
either been silent on the subject or
have reduced it to rules and
restrictions, leaving couples confused,
ashamed, or even broken. But the Bible
doesn't whisper about intimacy. It
celebrates it. And today, we're going to
reclaim God's design for sex in
marriage. By the end of this episode, I
believe you'll see intimacy not as
something awkward or taboo, but as
something holy, beautiful, and essential
to your marriage covenant. This is part
three in a series about marriage. In the
first episode, we talked about godly
wives. And in the second episode, we
talked about godly husbands. And in this
episode, we're going to talk about godly
intimacy in marriage. Many believers
grew up in churches where sex was never
discussed. Or if it was, it was
presented as dirty, shameful, or merely
tolerated for procreation.
But silence breeds confusion. When the
church doesn't teach people about this
topic, the culture will. And let's be
honest, Hollywood, pornography, and
secular media have been more than
willing to teach distorted views about
intimacy. Their version of sex
emphasizes lust, selfishness, and
temporary pleasure. While God's version
emphasizes covenant love, self-giving,
and lifelong joy. Let me give you an
illustration. Think about a fire. In the
fireplace, it brings warmth, light, and
comfort. But if it gets outside the
fireplace, it can burn the house down.
Sex works the same way. Inside God's
covenant of marriage, it's life-giving,
safe, and beautiful. But outside of
God's covenant is destructive and
dangerous. Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage
is honorable among all and the bed
undefiled, but fornicators and
adulterers God will judge." God is not
anti-ex. God created sex, but it has a
place and a purpose, and we need to use
it for what God intended to avoid
problems.
Intimacy is created by God. From the
very beginning, God made man and woman
to be one flesh. Genesis 2:24 says,
"Therefore, a man shall leave his father
and mother and be joined to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh."
Intimacy is not just physical. It's
emotional, spiritual, and covenantal.
This is why the Bible commands us not to
fornicate, because we're joining
ourselves with someone outside of a
marriage covenant. 1 Corinthians 6:15
and 16 says, "Do you not know that your
bodies are members of Christ? Shall I
then take the members of Christ and make
them members of a harlot? Certainly not.
Or do you not know that he who is joined
to a harlot is one body with her? For
the two, he says, shall become one
flesh. And 1 Corinthians 6:18 says,
"Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that
a man does is outside the body, but he
who commits sexual immorality sins
against his own body." Intimacy is
celebrated in scripture. The Song of
Solomon is an entire book that rejoices
in the intimacy of marriage. Listen to
Song of Solomon 7:6. How fair and how
pleasant you are, O love, with your
delights. This is poetic passion written
under the inspiration of the Holy
Spirit. Intimacy is commanded for mutual
joy. 1 Corinthians 7 teaches that a
husband and wife should not deprive one
another, but to freely give themselves
to one another. 1 Corinthians 7 3-5
says, "Let the husband render to his
wife the affection due to her, and
likewise also the wife to her husband.
The wife does not have authority over
her own body, but the husband does. And
likewise, the husband does not have
authority over his own body, but the
wife does. Do not deprive one another
except with consent for a time, that you
may give yourselves to fasting and
prayer, and come together again, so that
Satan does not tempt you because of your
lack of self-control." This passage
flips the script on intimacy in
marriage. It's not about selfish taking,
but it's about generous giving. One of
the problems I often see in marriage
counseling is that one partner is
withholding intimacy from the other
partner as a form of punishment. They're
trying to control and manipulate the
other person by withholding sex. This is
wrong and it goes against what scripture
teaches. The only time to withhold
intimacy is by mutual consent for the
purpose of prayer and fasting.
One key point I want you to get out of
this is that God designed sex to be a
picture of covenantal love, sacrificial,
exclusive, and joyous. Sex is a
beautiful thing that brings couples
closer together in marriage. Okay. Now,
I want to talk about some common
misconceptions about sex. And the first
one is that sex is dirty. I've heard
people say that they're uncomfortable
with the idea of sex because it just
feels dirty to them. So, they avoid it
even in marriage.
The truth is that God made it and
everything that God made is good.
Genesis 1:31 says, "Then God saw
everything that he made and indeed it
was very good." So the evening and the
morning were the sixth day. If God made
it and he declared it good, then it's
not shameful. Sex in marriage is holy
and beautiful when done according to
God's plan. Misconception number two is
that sex is just for having children.
These same people who say that sex is
dirty also tend to argue that sex is
only given for the purpose of
reproduction. And they argue that the
only reason to have sex is if you want a
baby. However, the truth is while
procreation is part of God's design,
sexual intimacy strengthens love, builds
trust, and protects marriages against
temptation. Listen what Proverbs chapter
5 says. Proverbs 5:18-19 says, "Let your
fountain be blessed and rejoice with the
wife of your youth. As a loving deer and
a graceful do, let her breast satisfy
you at all times and always be
enraptured with her love." This is about
finding pleasure in intimacy, not just
about having babies. Misconception
number three is that intimacy is only
physical. Some people also think that
sexual intimacy is only physical.
However, the truth is biblical intimacy
is body, soul, and spirit. It mirrors
the unity and oneness God desires
between himself and his people. That's
why Paul calls marriage a mystery that
points to Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:31-32 says, "For this
reason, a man shall leave his father and
mother and be joined to his wife, and
the two shall become one flesh." This is
a great mystery, but I speak concerning
Christ and the church. Marriage is a
deeply spiritual covenant that points us
to the unity God wants with his people.
Intimacy is about closeness, not just
physical, but closeness in every
imaginable way. If you're married, your
husband or your wife should be the
closest person in your life. They should
be your best friend, and they should
know you better than anyone else. They
should be your confidant and partner in
everything you do. You should covet time
with them and seek to please your
spouse. All right. Now, I want to talk
about some practical ways we can reclaim
God's design in marriage. Pursue
emotional intimacy. Husbands, 1 Peter
3:7 commands you to dwell with your wife
with understanding. 1 Peter 3:7 says,
"Husbands, likewise, dwell with them
with understanding, giving honor to the
wife as to the weaker vessel, and as
being heirs together of the grace of
life that your prayers may not be
hindered."
Emotional intimacy begins with
listening, having empathy, and creating
a safe space where she can speak freely
with you. Seek to understand her and
connect with her emotionally. The second
thing we need to do is practice
spiritual intimacy. You need to pray
together, worship together, read
scripture together. When your spiritual
bond is strong, your physical intimacy
flows naturally. Ephesians 5:23 says,
"For the husband is the head of the
wife, as also Christ is head of the
church, and he is the savior of the
body." Husbands, you are appointed by
God as the spiritual leader in your
house. So lead your wife spiritually. Be
imitators of Christ. Be the head she
needs you to be to lead her in the Lord.
Number three is to protect the marriage
bed. Guard against lust in all of its
forms, pornography, fantasy, and
comparison with others. The book of
Hebrews calls the marriage bed undefiled
and it must remain a sacred space.
Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage is
honorable among all and the bed
undefiled, but fornicators and
adulterers God will judge." Yeshua
warned us that lust is adultery in the
heart. All sin begins in the heart with
a desire for something you shouldn't.
Lust is a desire for illegal intimacy,
intimacy with someone other than your
covenant partner. You keep the marriage
bed holy and undefiled by not allowing
anyone else to compare to your husband
or wife. You need to make them your
favorite person, the one person you
desire most. And don't let your eyes
lead you astray from that. Fix your
heart on the one you're in covenant
with. Remember your vows to forsake all
others and to love and cherish this one
person until death separates you. That's
the power of a marriage covenant. And
that vow keeps the marriage bed
undefiled. Next, we need to prioritize
generosity and not selfishness. Paul's
words in 1 Corinthians 7 remind us that
intimacy is about serving and satisfying
your spouse, not yourself. 1 Corinthians
7 3 and 4 says, "Let the husband render
to his wife the affection due to her.
And likewise also the wife to her
husband. The wife does not have
authority over her own body, but the
husband does. And likewise, the husband
does not have authority over his own
body, but the wife does." Lust is
selfish. It says, "What pleasure can I
get?" Love is not self-seeking because
love asks, "How can I please the one I
love?" Marriage is a covenant, and
intimacy is one of the most powerful
ways to honor that covenant. Don't let
the enemy twist and steal what God has
created for good. Reclaim it, celebrate
it, protect it. Because when a husband
and wife walk in biblical intimacy, they
reflect the love of Christ and his
church. And that's a testimony the world
desperately needs to see.
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And thank you so much for being a part
of Let's Talk Biblical. Now that we've
explored the depths of today's topic,
it's time to hear from you. Welcome to
the Q&A portion of the show where you
can ask questions about today's topic.
So, post your questions in the chat and
let's talk biblical.
Okay. Sorry, I was muted. I apologize
for that. Can you hear me now? Um, so I
was hoping to have a live Q&A tonight
and we don't have any questions in the
chat yet. So, if you could go ahead and
post your questions in the chat. Sorry
about uh sorry about being muted.
Um,
so we've got a new member tonight is uh
Joe Bud. Thanks for joining and welcome
to the live stream
and
I'm just waiting for a question to pop
up.
I've got uh Nick and Sith the noame both
tell me the audio was off. I apologize
for that guys. Um, I muted it earlier
and forgot to unmute it.
Uh, let's see.
Well, since we don't have any questions
yet, I'll give you guys a minute to
think of some questions. Um, and it
doesn't have to be on the topic of
marriage. It could be on any topic you
want. Um, just open Q&A for whatever
questions you might have. Um, did you
guys see the video I put out Sunday? Uh
it was about how the church transitioned
from a Jewish sect to a gentile religion
and um
and I put a lot of effort into that that
video. I'm really excited about it and I
think it's a really great video and I
hope um it continues to do well. But so
far it's been doing really good on on
YouTube and I'm I'm hoping it'll
continue to do well because it's
something I want uh to reach as many
people as possible because I feel like
it's it's an important part of history
that a lot of people aren't aware of. Um
I know that whenever I was in in Bible
college and I you know I studied church
history and that was one of the the
things that I studied in my uh theology
degree was church history. But what's
interesting
is that most people they they talk about
early church history as being like
third century and third and fourth
century they they'd call early church
history. And to me, early church history
is like first and second century,
but first and second century history was
kind of glazed over and and nobody
really talked about that. Um, there's
barely anything mentioned. Um,
you know, basically
from the destruction of the temple until
Constantine, that entire block of
history is kind of just skipped over
like it's not important. Sometimes
you'll hear somebody quote from um
somebody in those those eras. You know,
you might hear somebody quote from
uh Justin Martyr or um
Josephus, which he wasn't a Christian,
but he was Jewish historian.
Um or they'll quote from, you know,
somebody like Ucius or or um
Origin or, you know, some of those guys.
uh but it is not really a whole lot of
history that's explained or talked about
during that time period. So I felt like
it was an important time period
um to to emphasize because so much
changed in the church during that time
period.
And we still don't have any questions,
guys. Where's all the questions tonight?
Usually I'm flooded with questions by
this time. Um nobody's posting questions
tonight.
[Laughter]
We may have a really short episode
tonight if we don't have any questions.
Okay, here's a question. I recently
heard about reformed uh pronomian
churches. Do you have any opinion on
reformed pronomianism?
Uh that's actually a term I'm not
familiar with. Um, I am familiar with
the pronomian,
uh, the term pronomian, which is someone
who just pro proaw pro Torah. Um, I'm
not sure what pronomian or what reformed
pronomian is, though. Um, so that's a
new one for me. I'm I'm kind of curious
what reformed pronomian is doing because
pronomianism,
as far as I understand, is fairly new.
uh development in Christian history in
in recent Christian history. I I I think
it's a return to
um the early earliest form of
Christianity which is you know first and
second century Christianity before
um
what what during the time when the
apostles were still overseeing the
church I I feel like it was a pronomian
environment then
but after Rome got involved it was very
anti-nomeian
and opposed to the Torah opposed to the
law of God Um and the the new
fluctuation
of the messianic Hebrew roots, Torah
observant, pronomian type of mindset
uh has really kind of developed and
taken root in the last 20 or 30 years.
And so it's a fairly new movement um
within the overall church history. So
I'm I'm curious how there's already a
reform to it and what that reform looks
like.
So, if you have any information on that,
uh that you could send me, I would love
to look over it, um because I've not
heard that term before.
So,
uh
Tracy says, "Shalom, everybody." Hi,
Tracy.
Do we have any uh any more questions?
Uh let's see.
I'm sorry guys. I I planned a short live
stream so we could have questions and
here we are. Live streams over and no
questions.
Figures.
Um well,
I hate to waste you guys' time if nobody
has questions. Um oh, here's a question.
Would you consider having Corey Miner
SmartChristian's channel on your channel
or be on his channel? He makes many
videos coming after the Sabbath day and
those who keep it or want to. Um, I am
not familiar with Corey Miner. Um, I'm
not opposed to having a conversation
with anybody though. Um, I don't know
what kind of videos he makes or what he
says. Um, but I I'm not opposed to
having a conversation with anybody. Um,
so if if he is interested in doing that,
I' I'd be willing to as well. Um, I'm
not really interested in in having a a
debate or anything. U, but it'd be
interesting to have a conversation and
talk about stuff.
Uh,
I'm I'm assuming it's from what it
sounds like that he's opposed to
Sabbath.
So,
uh, could be could be an interesting
conversation.
Uh,
any other questions?
This may be the shortest live stream
I've ever done.
Um,
I think I usually at least go 30 or 45
minutes.
All right, let's do this. Are there
topics
that you would like me to talk about
either in live stream or to make a uh
one of the shorter form videos for
YouTube on? Is there any topics of
interest that you would love to see a
video on? things that that maybe you
haven't heard me talk about before or
things that I have talked about before
but you would like me to talk more about
and expla expand on and and uh go deeper
on or any old videos that I did that you
think I should uh redo and and and
improve on. Um
anything like that that you guys can
think of. I would love to see that. Go
and post that in the chat.
Tracy says, "Will the live stream be
live during Sakote?" Uh, no. I'm not
planning on doing a live stream during
SEO. I might try to pre-record something
and stream something. Uh, just schedule
it out for for that week. Um, but I'm
not planning on doing a live at SEO.
It's just really hard to do that. um
while they while we're there. So, uh
probably not going to this year. I I
know I have in the past um but it's just
it's really hard to try to do that there
and so I'm I'm not planning to do
anything while we're there.
Speaking of SEO, is everybody ready for
the fall feast? Um they're right around
the corner. So, we've got trumpets, uh
atonement, and tabernacles all coming up
uh very soon.
And um
you aren't familiar with those topics,
I've got some videos on those things as
well. Um some older videos. Maybe that's
something I should do some some new
videos on as well is uh just talking
about the
uh the feast days and
maybe that's a topic people would be
interested in.
Um
okay. Well, I don't have any questions
and I don't have any people posting
comments. Um, is anybody out there?
I know Nick and Tracy are because they
posted comments or questions, but uh
maybe nobody's watching tonight. Um, is
there a something going on in the world
that I'm not aware of? Is there a Super
Bowl? No, that didn't happen this time
of year. Is a is there some big soccer
tournament or something people are
watching? I don't know. All
right, Nick has a question. Are the old
streams no longer available under
Unlearn the Lies? Um,
I have taken down a lot of content
uh from my channel. Um, stuff that I
felt like
was um
was either not performing well on
YouTube or stuff that I felt like just
didn't really line up with what I'm
trying to do with this channel anymore.
Um, and so I've removed a lot of the
older stuff and I'm going to go through
um some of my some of my older stuff
that's still up there and I'm going to
redo it and um try to make it better and
try to expand on it a little bit and go
more in depth. Um,
and hopefully make them more interesting
for people to watch because I think I've
got some content that's really good but
people aren't watching it. Um, and so I
want to try to make it so it's more
interesting for people to want to watch.
Um, so I'll be doing some of that as
well on my channel, but um, a lot of the
older stuff I've taken down, uh, because
I just didn't really feel like it fit
the direction I'm wanting to go with
this channel. And what I'm wanting to do
with this channel is really
um kind of dive in on what early
Christianity looked like and really
focus on uh first century Christianity
and what what first century Christianity
was like and what it was about and how
we could be more like them. And so
that's that's the direction I want to
take take this channel now. And so if if
there's things on my channel that I
didn't really feel like lined up with
that well, I've already removed it. And
then the stuff that I've left, I I think
is good, but I'm probably going to go
through and redo some of it. So
hopefully that helps answer that
question a little bit.
Um,
okay. Well,
I don't see any more questions,
so
I guess we'll go ahead and call it a
night. Um,
thank you guys for chuming on tonight.
Hopefully the topic was interesting and
hope it's helpful. And for people who
watch it on the playback, I'm sorry for
the really boring live Q&A because this
is uh not normal. Normally we have lots
of questions in the Q&A and I don't have
time to get to them. And so tonight um
it's strange because I have lots of time
and nobody asking questions. So um
rather than wasting your time anymore,
I'm going to go ahead and just uh call
it a night. But thank you guys for being
on here and we'll talk to you next week.
Thank you for joining me on Let's Talk
Biblical. If you enjoyed this episode,
then share it with your friends and keep
the conversation going. Be sure to
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and I look forward to chatting with you
again next week. Until next time, keep
talking biblical. Shalom.