10 Characteristics of a Godly Wife | Let's Talk Biblical

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If you love talking about the Bible as
much as I do, then I think you'll really
enjoy this show. Welcome to Let's Talk
Biblical, the podcast where we dig deep
into the heart of scripture, explore
timeless truths, and have real
conversations about what the Bible says
and how it applies to us. My name is Lex
and I want to thank you for joining me
on today's episode. So, grab your Bible,
get comfortable, and let's talk
biblical.
All right, today we are going to be
talking about godly wives.
All right. So whether you are a man
looking to find a wife or whether you
are a woman looking to become a wife or
whether you are already married and
you're trying to be a godly wife. Um
hopefully this top uh this this video
today, this uh teaching today, this
podcast will be helpful and um hopefully
we will discuss some things that uh
maybe you haven't considered before. And
so I want to look at 10 characteristics
of a godly wife. And these
characteristics are seen throughout the
Bible in various places. Um, and so
let's I want to start actually in uh
Proverbs 31. And I know Proverbs 31 is a
chapter that is kind of a go-to chapter
because it's, you know, it's the chapter
about being a virtuous wife. And so
there's a lot of great stuff in Proverbs
31. We're going to look at several
things in this chapter, but then we're
going to go beyond this and look in some
other places in scripture as well. Um,
so let's go ahead and start in Proverbs
31. And I actually want to start with
verse 30.
It says, "Charm is deceitful and beauty
is passing, but a woman who fears the
Lord, she shall be praised." All right.
So, um, the the central idea of what a
godly wife is is that she is a woman who
fears the Lord. And so if you are a
woman who fears the Lord, then that is
um that is the foundation. That is the
primary thing uh for becoming a godly
wife because everything else is built on
that foundation. So if you are if you're
not someone who fears the Lord um then
the rest of the stuff that we have to
talk about today is probably not going
to make sense to you and it's probably
not going to benefit you because you're
not going to be willing um to do those
things because you don't actually fear
the Lord. And so the things that we talk
about today are all based on this first
foundation is that you you need to be a
woman who fears the Lord. And men, if
you're looking for a wife, she needs to
you need to find a woman who fears the
Lord. Uh because that is very important.
And the fear of the Lord is um it's not
it's not fear in the sense of fright and
terror um like uh you know someone's
trying to kill you, that kind of thing.
It's it's the same kind of fear that a
child has for their parents. Um it's not
fear that they're going to kill you, but
it's fear that you want to do what's
right and please them. It is fear that
causes you want to want to obey them. Um
and so it's the reverence and the
respect that you have for your parents
um as a child that you know when they
say they ask you to do something you
obey them because you fear them uh and
and in that sense you respect them you
honor them um you want to obey them you
want to do what pleases them and that's
the same kind of fear of the Lord is
it's not that we're terrified that he's
going to destroy us it's that we are uh
we have such honor respect and reverence
for him that we want to obey him and we
want to do the things that please him.
Um
and so uh the foundation of godly
womanhood begins with
uh her being a faithful disciple of
Yeshua and that is tied in with the fear
of the Lord. And so uh fearing the Lord
is is what causes you to become a a
faithful disciple. So you are obedient
to him, you faithfully follow him. All
right? So then we want to um go to the
next one. So number two, so number one
was she fears the Lord and number two is
going to be found in verse 11.
So let me scroll back up here to
Proverbs 311.
Okay? And it it says,
"The heart of her husband safely trusts
her, so she will have no lack of gain."
Okay?
Now, this is, you know, I want you to
think about that. The the heart of her
husband safely trusts her.
What is that? What is that meaning? And
so, a godly wife is someone her husband
can trust with his whole heart. Um,
someone her husband can trust with his
home, someone her husband can trust with
his finances and with his family, um,
and with his future.
Okay. So, a woman needs to be someone
her husband can trust.
And this is this is huge. Um if if a a
husband can't trust his wife,
um it's going to be really hard to have
a good marriage. And so, you need to be
someone who is trustworthy. You need to
um be someone your husband trusts. And
that's trust is gained. Trust is earned.
And it's by being trustworthy,
you become trusted. If you're a
trustworthy person, people will trust
you. Um,
and so, uh, some things that this looks
like is she's a woman who builds up her
husband.
Um, and she strengthens him and she
encourages him, right? Um, she speaks
life to him.
um you know, you you you trust someone
who
um who's honest with you and so she
needs to be honest with him. Um you
know, you wouldn't trust somebody who is
constantly belittling you and tearing
you down and and berating you and and
criticizing you and um speaking unkind
words to you. You you you don't trust
somebody like that. That they're hurting
you, right? Okay. So, if you are
constantly attacking and belittling and
slandering and um criticizing and things
like that, it's going to be hard for
your husband to trust you. And if you
know, for the men, if if you're, you
know, there's a woman in your life that
you're dating or whatever, you're
thinking about marriage, look at these
things. Is is she someone who you can
trust? Is she speaking life to you or is
she tearing you down? Um and so those
are things that are important.
Um,
another thing is is this woman for him
to trust her, he needs to see that she
is his helper, not his rival. Okay? Um,
if she is constantly competing with him,
then he's not going to trust her. He's
going to feel like she's in competition
with him. if they're arguing about
things, if if she's trying to oneup him,
if she's trying to outdo him,
um,
you know, if she's if she's trying to
show herself as better than him, you
know, that she's putting on some sort of
competition
and that's going to make it hard for him
to trust her. Um, he needs to see her as
his partner, as his helper. Um, and
that's really important. So women, you
need to make sure that your husband sees
you as a helper, as a partner, as
someone he can trust.
Um, and this also means you don't
manipulate. Um, you you're not passive
aggressive. You're not bitter towards
him. Um, you you show steadfast love and
support and encouragement
towards your husband. Okay. women who
are man manipulative.
Um they're trying to always say things
to get to get him to do what they want.
Um it's hard to trust a woman like that.
Don't be manipulative. Um and you know
passive aggression is just a form of
manipulation. And so, um, you know, when
you're, you know, interacting with your
your your spouse, you need to be
truthful and, um, loving and kind and
not trying to manipulate the situation.
Just be honest. Just, you know, if if
there's something that he's doing you
don't like, just say, "Hey, I, you know,
I really don't like it when you do
this." You don't need to manipulate him
about it. If there's something you would
like him to do, just say, "Hey, I would
like you to do this. You don't need to
manipulate him about it. It's so much
better if you're just honest and open
and uh clear in your expectations." And
so many times in marriage, there are
problems because people aren't clear
about their expectations. And so, you
know, just have have an open, honest
conversation about stuff.
You know, this is what I would like you
to do. This is what I don't want you to
do. this is I like it when you do this,
I don't like it when you do that. If
you're just clear and open and honest
about those things, um there's no
unmet expectations
and you don't have to feel like you need
to manipulate them to do something or
not to do something.
So, just be open and honest as much as
you can, but do it in love and kindness.
All right. Now, we're going to go to
verse 13.
And verse 13 says, "She seeks wool and
flax and willingly works with her
hands."
Okay, so this shows us that she is not
idle. She is uh productive and um she,
you know, we go on and we can we can
continue reading and it talks about how
uh actually let me just go ahead and and
read some more because there's more to
this. Um she's like the merchant ship.
She brings her food from afar.
Uh she also rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household a
and a portion for her maid servants.
Um
she considers a field and buys it from
her profit. She plants a vineyard. She
girds herself with strength and
strengthens her arms. She perceives that
her merchandise is good and her lamp
does not go out by night. She stretches
out her hands to the daff and her hand
holds the spindle. She extends her hand
to the poor. Yes. Reaches out her hand
to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her
household, for her household is clothed
with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself. Her
clothing is fine linen and purple. Her
husband is known in the gates. Uh when
she's when he sits among the elders of
the land, she makes linen garments and
sells them and supplies sashes for the
merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing. She
she shall rejoice in time to come. She
opens her mouth with wisdom and on her
tongue is a law of kindness. She watches
over the ways of her household and does
not eat the bread of idleness. Okay, so
um we see this woman is she's not idle.
She's not lazy. She's not passive. Um
she's very active. She's very involved.
She she's always doing something. She's
busy. um she's working hard for her
family. And so this this could be a
woman who is a stay-at-home mom. I'm
going to give a couple scenarios here.
Could be a woman who's a stay at home
mom, but she doesn't just sit around all
day watching TV. She's busy. She's
cleaning house. She's uh you know,
teaching the kids. She's um cooking
food. She's uh doing laundry. Um she's
going shopping. She's you know, she's
busy. She's doing stuff. and she's
providing for her family. She's not uh,
you know, just sitting on the couch
watching television. She's she's busy
and she's working hard to provide and
take care of her family.
Or what if she's a uh a working uh a
person who works and has a job? Well,
then she's she's going to work and she's
earning money to provide for the family
and she's taking care of her family that
way. And then when she gets off work,
she comes home and she does the the
things that she didn't get to do at home
during the day while she was working.
And so she stays busy working. She's not
lazy.
This is important. Um and the Bible
talks about how um idleness, idle hands
and things like that leads towards um
women who are busy bodies and gossips.
And so if if you're not busy at home,
you're going to become busybody.
You're going to become a gossip. You're
going to get involved in other people's
business. And you need to stay out of
other people's business and just stick
to what stick stay in your lane. Stick
to your business. Um and you know,
someone who is idol and a busy body or
yeah, idol and a busy body. Um that's
not qualities of a godly wife. Uh
someone who's a gossip and being
involved in everybody's business. That
is not the quality of a godly wife. A
godly wife is one who uh takes care of
her family and is busy providing for her
family and caring for the needs of her
home. And she's not worried about uh
getting in other people's business and
trying to gossip and trying to um
uh
you know just just uh
being a busy body. She's busy. She's not
a busy body. And she's busy. She's not
idle. Okay. Um, and so she's diligent,
resourceful, and proactive. She's one
who takes charge. You know, it says she
she sees a field and buys it. You know,
she's she's taking charge. She's she's
proactive. She is taking initiative
and she's not just waiting around for
her husband to say, "Hey, woman, you
need to do the dishes." Okay? Um, she
doesn't need her husband to tell her
what to do. Because she's she's already
doing it. She's already being proactive
about it. This is a godly wife.
Um,
she watches over the ways of her
household. She takes care of her
children. She makes sure that her family
is fed and clothed and they don't have
to worry about being cold in the winter
and things like that. Um, so she's she's
taking care of their food and their
clothing and things like that and
managing the household well. Um, and she
doesn't waste time or complain about her
role because she understands she's doing
a ministry and she is a steward of what
God has entrusted to her. Okay? So, this
is this is important. As a mother and a
wife, you are doing ministry. You are
ministering to your family
and you are a steward of the things that
are in your realm. Uh, the things of
your household. They are in your
stewardship. And so you need to be a
good steward of those things. And that's
part of what Proverbs 31 is talking
about is being a good steward of what
God has entrusted you with. Um, but the
principle here is that a godly wife
takes initiative. She works hard and she
creates value
and she serves her family with joy.
Okay. All right. So now number four,
we're going to jump over to Ephesians
now.
and Ephesians chapter 5.
And everybody knows where I'm going with
this one probably. Um because this is
the uh a very well-known passage of
scripture.
And so we're going to go in here and
we're going to look at verse 22 and 23.
It says, "Wives submit to your own
husbands as to the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife
as also Christ is head of the church.
and he is the savior of the body. Okay.
So wives submit to your husbands as to
the lord. So uh a wife who submits
willingly and honors her husband. This
is very valuable in the eyes of a
husband. Um think about what's the
opposite of submitting. Well that's
contention. That's argument. That's
someone who is opposing. someone who is
um fighting against.
And so when you think about submission
is is going alongside is is coming along
with is uh moving together. You are
holding hands in partnership and going
in the same direction. That is
submitting. The opposite of submitting
is fighting is going against is
argument, quarrel, u debate,
um
tension. Those are the opposite. And so
a woman who is walking alongside her
husband, going with him and as a partner
and as a helper, that is so valuable to
a husband. Um, submission is not about
inferiority.
Um, it's about order and design and
trust. Okay? God has established order
and God has established that the man is
the head of the house and that the woman
is the helper to the head. she is the
helpmate. And so we see in Genesis when
God created woman, you know, he said,
"It's not good that man's alone." And so
I'm going to make him a helper suitable
for him. And so he pulled the woman out
of his rib, out of his side. It's
because she's meant to be at his side
and she, you know, she's like a rib that
she protects his heart
and she is close to him. Okay. the, you
know, the the idea that, you know, she
is from his chest, she is from his um
his bosom, she is close to him, she is
his uh close partner.
And so um the the picture of that is is
a very beautiful picture.
And um you know, but God didn't pull her
from his foot so that he could squish
her.
Okay? God pulled her from his side so
that he could hold her close.
But he didn't pull her from his head so
she could dominate him either. And so
it's the the idea is that she is from
his side because she is his partner. She
is his helper. She is his companion.
Um but biblical submission is voluntary.
Okay? It's uh it's it's your choice. It
is it's about um saying I will I will
voluntarily submit. It's not it's not
about him ruling over you and lording
over you and saying you you bow down to
me. You're you're my slave. It's not
kind of it's not that kind of thing.
It's you're my partner and I want you to
come alongside me and and partner with
me in this project, in this endeavor, in
this thing and you come alongside him
and you partner with him. Does that mean
you um agree with everything he says and
does? No, it doesn't. Um, but you were
there to help. You were there to
encourage. You were there to support.
You were there to um walk beside him.
You're not to oppose him. You are not
his enemy. Um, you are not his his
competition. You are his partner.
Okay. Um,
and
something we also need to remember is
that um,
you know, the idea, actually, we're
going to get into this in a little bit,
but the idea that that you're his
partner, you're his helper,
um, is tied to God being our helper and
that the Holy Spirit is our helper,
right? And so to to say that if God is
our helper is a good thing, is it not a
good thing to say that the wife is the
helper to the husband? Um it's an
honoring role to be called the helper.
Um
but we also need to remember that
Ephesians 5 also speaks to men and it
tells men to love their wives the way
that Christ loved the church. And so as
the these two things work together, love
and respect work together. And so the
wife honors her husband, respects her
husband, submits to her husband. That is
showing respect to her husband. The
husband loves his wife, cherishes his
wife, um nurtures his wife, and um is is
there to provide and protect and care
for his wife.
That love and respect work together. And
so, um it's hard to love somebody who
doesn't respect you. And it's hard to
respect somebody who doesn't love you.
And so, both partners need to be doing
their part. Um and both and when when
the husband is loving the wife and the
wife is respecting the husband, then uh
marriage becomes a beautiful picture.
Um and it it portrays what God intended
it to to do. And in the same way that
that Christ loved the church and that
the church submits to and honors and
respects Christ, those those work
together. And when you think about um
when it comes down to what are the
problems that many people struggle with
in marriage,
oftentimes it comes down to these two
things. And the the husband says, "Well,
I just don't feel like she respects me."
And the wife says, "I just don't feel
like he loves me."
Those are typically things that you'll
hear.
And the reason is because men crave
respect especially from their wife and
women crave love especially from their
husband. And that's it's part of how God
created us and that's what we need. And
that's it's by God's design so that
those things function correctly.
Um
and and so but what we see here is that
she is honoring her husband. She's
respecting him. And I want to jump over
to Proverbs 31 and look at what it says
there.
because it says something really
interesting in verse 23.
Her husband is known in the gates when
he sits among the elders of the land.
Okay, so
why is
him being respected at the gates a
credit for the wife? It say, you know,
this talking about a virtuous wife and
it says that her husband is known and
respected at the gates among the elders.
And so this is seen as a credit to the
wife, a a good respected man is a credit
to the wife that saying that she is an
honorable wife, that she is a godly
wife, that she is a virtuous wife
because her husband is honored. And I
think that should speak volumes.
Um, how how often do you find a a
well-known, wellrespected man who has a
wife who is a monster
and she treats people terribly and she
um, you know, she's she's causing
problems and contention and she's
slandering her husband and she's
gossiping and she's um, you know, she's
always trying to pick fights with her
husband. Well,
that that doesn't lend to his
credibility.
When a woman acts like that, that
actually depreciates his value and his
credibility among other people because
they say, "Man, he seems like a great
guy, but his wife, she's a monster.
She's terrible, you know, and and so
they they look down on him because he
married her." Um, but if you know if
they see him and you know he's a he's an
honorable man, he's respectable and then
they see her and she's also honorable
and respectable and she is uh kind and
and loving and and uh patient and a good
mother and she's she's um a godly woman
who who uh loves the Lord and she fears
God and she is um she's modest and and
all the all the things that we're going
to look at. You know, they see these
things
And that is a credit to him.
And he is even, you know, he's even more
respected because his wife is such a
godly woman.
And so it's a credit to both of them.
It's a credit to him that she's godly
and it's credit to her that he's godly
and he's respected.
Um, Proverbs 12,
just going to tack onto this a little
bit more. Proverbs 12:4
says, "An excellent wife is the crown of
her husband, but she who causes shame is
like rottness in his bones." Okay, so um
a good wife is a crown to her husband.
She is um something that exalts him,
something that makes him honored,
something that makes him um
respected.
And um
a good wife honors her husband. She
never she never speaks badly about him.
She doesn't go to her friends and say,
"Oh man, you you wouldn't believe what
horrible thing my husband did to me the
other day, or what horrible thing he
said the other day, or she's not
gossiping about him. She's not
slandering about him. She's not talking
badly about him to other people.
Okay? She she doesn't want him to be
seen
negatively in other people's eyes. Now,
she may she may have uh those feelings
towards him. She may think, "Oh, man,
that was a horrible thing for you to
say, but she keeps it to herself. She
doesn't go blab to other people.
Um she may not like something he did,
but she doesn't go slander him to other
people and say, you know, my husband did
this horrible thing." She wants him to
be honored. She wants him to be
respected. And so she uh she doesn't
slander him. She doesn't talk badly
about him. And I've I've met women who
do this. I've met women who talk badly
about their husbands and they're always
belittling them to other people and
talking badly about them to other
people. And it's it's a horrible thing
to see a woman badmouth her husband to
somebody else.
It's it's
um it's not a godly thing to do.
And so if you if you want to be a godly
woman, you've got to learn not to talk
badly about your husband to other
people. Um
and uh her influence elevates his
leadership, right? So she is a godly
woman and she speaks well of him and
that just makes people love him even
more.
Um,
okay. And then let's go to uh Proverbs
31 again.
And we're going to look at uh verse 26.
Now,
she opens her mouth with wisdom and on
her tongue is the law of kindness. All
right? So, she speaks with wisdom and
kindness. Okay? A go a godly a godly
wife is not harsh. She's not critical.
Um,
her words are measured. Her words have
wisdom to them. Her words are full of
kindness and grace. Um, she doesn't tear
down her husband or gossip about him. We
already mentioned that. U, but she
guards her mouth and she speaks life to
her husband and about her husband. Okay?
She's she's not tearing him down. She's
building him up. Uh, she's not
belittling him. She's encouraging him.
And you know, she understands that her
words can bring life or death to her
husband. She understands that her words
can build him up or tear him down. And
she wants to build him up. She wants to
speak life to him. Uh that's a godly
wife. That's a godly woman. If you are
constantly tearing down your husband and
belittling him and criticizing him and
um you know telling him how how bad he
is and how wrong he is all the time. um
that's going to make it really hard for
him to love you. But if you were
speaking life to him and you were
speaking kindness to him and you were
encouraging him and building him up and
strengthening him and um
speaking well of him
and and speaking words of affirmation to
him, uh then he's going to have it's
going to be easy for him to love you and
uh you know it's just it's going to make
a huge impact on your marriage. And but
that's what a godly wife does is she
speaks life to her husband. Um and she
speaks kindness. Her words are kind.
They're not they're not her words are
not swords meant to to harm and cause
damage. Her words are meant to bring
life and peace and joy.
Okay? Uh grace is on her tongue. Okay?
uh your words.
A godly wife understands that her words
can build her husband up or they can
tear him down. And she chooses to build
him up even when she could tear him
down. Okay, that's that's what makes a
woman a godly wife because even when um
when she should or could tear him down
uh because of something he said or did
uh that was wrong, instead of tearing
him down, instead of criticizing him,
she she chooses to speak life to him.
And so, you know, that may be that you
give him um a word of direction or
instruction, but it's done in kindness.
It's done in grace. It's not critical,
and it's not cutting. Okay? You can
choose how you how you do this. And so,
um you know, you don't go to him and you
say, "Man,
you're you're such a stupid idiot. You
screwed this up."
No, that that's tearing him down.
You say, "Well,
that didn't go so well, did it?" Um,
that's okay. I still love you and you
can learn from this. And what what can
we get out of this? You know, you can
learn that, well, that was probably not
the right thing to do or that was not
the right thing to say. And so, next
time you can do better. And, you know,
just gently encourage in your
correction. encourage right behavior.
Instead of criticizing and belittling
for wrong behavior, encourage right
behavior,
okay? Um and and make sure it's with
grace and kindness. And reassure him
that you love him even though
this happened or you know he said or did
this. reassure him that that you um that
you love him and so that he can trust
that you will be here even even when
things are hard, even when things don't
go well. Um and that's something that so
many times in marriage uh you know, we
see that when things get rough,
one or both partners start throwing
around the divorce word and they you
know, if if things don't get better, I'm
going to divorce you.
threatening divorce is not going to fix
anything. It's just going to make it
worse. It's going to compound it. Uh
because now they don't feel safe because
you threaten divorce. Now they feel
like, well, if I screw up again, they're
just going to leave me. That doesn't
make a safe environment for marriage. Um
that makes an environment where trust is
not easily found. Um it makes an
environment where you don't feel you
don't feel secure.
and loved.
Excuse me, I've got a scratch in my
throat.
Um, and so a godly wife chooses her
words carefully and she makes sure
they're full of wisdom and kindness.
Um, all right. Now, uh, Proverbs 31:25,
strength and honor are her clothing. She
shall rejoice rejoice in time to come.
Okay? She's clothed in strength and
honor. Okay? This is a woman who she's
not weak. She's not passive. She's not
wimpy. She's strong and and she has a
strength about her. And it's not
necessarily physical strength. You know,
it's not that she she has muscles,
but that she has a strength of
character.
Um, and she has strength in her emotions
and she has strength in her spirit.
Um, she carries herself with dignity.
Um, she's not seeking attention. She's
not um self-conscious. She's not uh
belittling herself.
She's not thinking of herself as less
than. She doesn't think of herself as
inferior.
She has a confidence in who she is
knowing that she is a daughter of the
king. that she is a daughter of God, a
child of God, and she has confidence in
knowing who he is in her life,
and she has strength because she is
trusting in the Lord. She has strength
because she is following the leading of
the Holy Spirit. Um,
and so she
she's not
um
she's not belittling herself. She's not
looking down herself. She has strength.
She understands who she is and she walks
in dignity and confidence but not in
arrogance. Um
and so she she is humble in her
strength. She is humble in her
confidence. Um and so she knows who she
is. She is a daughter of the king. She
is a child of God. Um
she doesn't act foolishly. All right. So
this you know she she acts with wisdom
and purpose.
And you can tell when someone is um
insecure versus when someone is
confident. And it's not about um
it's not about the things they say. It's
not that they tell you, "Oh, I'm I'm a
confident person. I'm assured of
myself." That's not necessary. If
they're confident, you don't have they
don't have to tell you anything. You
just know they're confident. You know
that they have
a a strength about them.
and how they carry themsel and how they
interact with others. They they interact
uh without self-awareness.
Um they just jump in and and get
involved and do it.
That that's confidence.
Um
and
they have purpose. They're intentional.
um they they they
have their focus on what they're doing
and they do that. They're not easily
distracted.
Um
and so this woman, she
reflects the character of someone who
knows her value, she knows her worth,
and she knows that her husband loves
her, and she knows that her husband
trusts her. and she knows that she is um
that she is loved by God and that God is
with her and he's on her side. Um
and it doesn't matter what the world
says to her or about her. Um because she
didn't care what the world thinks. She
only cares what God thinks and what her
husband thinks.
Um,
and as far as that goes, her husband's
opinion is even less important in this
matter also because what God thinks is
more important. Um,
and so
if her husband thinks poorly of her,
that doesn't even matter to her because
she knows who she is in God's eyes and
she has value in God's eyes even if even
if her husband doesn't value her. Okay.
This is the kind of strength that a
godly woman has.
All right. Now, we go to Genesis 2.
And I already kind of touched on this a
little bit, but I want to um
I want to go ahead and go a little
further with it. Okay. So, and the Lord
God said, "It is not good that a man
should be alone. I will make him a
helper comparable to him." Okay. So here
we see that the wife is a helper.
She's not
um she's not an enemy. She's not a
competitor. She's a helper. Okay. The
Hebrew word helper here is Ezar. Okay.
And it's the same you it's the same word
used to describe how God helps us
all throughout the Bible. And so God is
descri described as our helper. And here
God is describing woman as man's helper.
And so if God is our helper, then uh
wife should be honored
to be called a helper
because it's comparing you with God.
God's role in our lives is as a helper
sometimes.
And a a wife's role in the life of a
husband is as a helper. And so you being
a helper to your husband is embodying
godliness.
It's embodying the character of God.
Okay? Um, it's not a lesser role. It's a
position of strength and support and
purpose.
Okay? And it's it's God's design for you
as a wife. It's what God designed you to
do. And so, you need to walk in the role
that God has designed for you as a wife,
as a helper, as a mother. Um, you are
there to be a partner to your husband,
to help him along the way, to to point
him in the right direction, to draw him
closer to God, to encourage him in his
walk with God, to encourage him to make
good decisions.
Um, part of being a helper is to help
him accomplish what God has for him.
Okay? It's not so that you can help him
accomplish evil. is so that you can help
him accomplish God's will.
And so you're there to help encourage
him to follow the Lord, to help lead
him, to help guide him, to help direct
him to the Lord so that he will follow
the Lord.
Um, and so you you stand beside him and
you point him in the right direction.
Now, that's where Eve went wrong. Okay?
Eve listened to the serpent
and she took from the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil and then she
gave that to her husband. She caused him
to sin. That's not the role of the
helper. You're not there to cause your
husband to sin to to lead him in sinful
ways to to you're not there to um help
him sin.
You're there to help him do what's
right. And so what he should have done
is said, "Oh, no, no. Uh God told us not
to do that. I'm not going to do that.
Um, and her husband also should have
done the same. He should have said to
Eve, "Oh, no, no. God didn't. God told
us not to do that. We shouldn't do
that." Um, the problem is women have
influence over their husbands.
And that was what we see happen with
Adam is that the woman had influence
over her husband. And you need to
understand as a woman, as a as as a
wife, you have a lot of influence over
your husband.
And you need to make sure that you are
influencing him in the right way and
influencing him to follow the Lord and
to to seek righteousness and godliness
and holiness. Um but do it through
kindness and love. And that's the role
of a helper. Um
and you're not there to control him,
though.
You're there to encourage him and to
pray for him and and to be a partner to
him. Um, you're not there to compete
with him. You are there to help him.
And uh, Proverbs 14. Now,
this is number eight.
The wise woman builds her house, but the
foolish pulls it down with her hands.
Okay. So, a godly wife is intentional
about the
the atmosphere of her home.
She's intentional about building her
house. When I say home or house, I'm not
just meaning the the physical building.
I'm talking about
uh everything about the home, the the
family,
um you know, the the environment that
the family lives in. Is it a peaceful
home? Is it a joyful home? Is it a home
where holiness and righteousness is
taught and encouraged and lived out? Um,
is it a home where uh trust and truth
and and life is being spoken? Is it a
house where um
where there's open communication
and um encouragement and love between
members of the family. uh she is
building her house well and she's
building her house on the word of God.
She's building her house on scripture.
She's building her house on faith in
Yeshua.
Um she's building a godly home. And so
the woman builds her house. A wise woman
builds her house. She she strengthens
her house. She builds it up. She she
makes it better.
But a foolish one pulls it down. Okay.
So what does it mean to pull it down?
Okay. Are you um are you damaging your
relationship to your husband with the
things that you say and do? Are you
damaging your relationship with your
children with the things that you say
and do?
That's that's how you tear it down.
You know, if you want to if you want to
tear down a marriage, um it's really
easy. You just start uh you know, saying
horrible things to to your husband or
your wife.
and uh you do that long enough and your
marriage is going to be over.
If you want to tear down and destroy the
relationship with your your children,
you just start saying horrible things to
them, treating them badly,
um neglecting them, ignoring them,
um criticizing them, do things like that
and they'll they'll guarantee to hate
you.
You know, it's it's really easy to
destroy a house,
but it takes intention and purpose and
work to build it and to strengthen it
and to keep it.
And and that's done by intentionally
speaking wisdom and intentionally
speaking love and intentionally speaking
um encouragement.
Okay? A wise woman builds her house up.
She strengthens it. But a fool tears it
down. Don't be the foolish wife who
tears your house down.
Um,
building your house up also is about uh
nurturing faith and peace and love in
your family and in your home. It's about
disciplining your children with love and
and grace and patience. Um, it's about
speaking life to your husband and your
children. And it's about serving them
with humility and honor.
Um,
no one is expecting perfection.
Um, this isn't, you know, how to be a
perfect wife. It's it's how to be a
godly wife. And godly people make
mistakes. We see throughout the Bible
all the most godly people in the Bible
made mistakes. And so, you're going to
make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up
about it.
But just
learn from your mistake and do better
next time.
Um,
and and the building your house up is
about surrendering to God's will and
doing what pleases him.
Um, and actively pursuing
pursuing him, pursuing righteousness,
pursuing the things that please him.
All right.
Number nine, a godly wife is modest.
This is 1 Peter 3
wives likewise be submissive to your own
husbands that even if some do not obey
the word they without a word may be one
by the conduct of their wives. Okay. So,
he's speaking to um
uh wives who have a husband who may not
be a believer or a husband who may not
be following God and he's giving advice
to them and he's telling telling you to
submit to your husband still even if he
doesn't obey the word even if he doesn't
obey God's God's word
because he may be one over
and become a believer and a follower of
God because of your conduct. Okay. So
this is the advice he's giving.
And so uh that even if some do not obey,
they without a word may be one by the
conduct of their wives.
When they observe your chasteed conduct
accompanied by fear and this is talking
about the fear of the fear of God.
Do not let your adornment be merely
outward arranging of the hair, wearing
of gold or putting on fine apparel. So
don't let your adornment just be
outwardly. Um don't just try to beautify
the outside.
Rather, let it be hidden the hidden
person of the heart with the
incorruptible beauty of a gentle and
quiet spirit which is very precious in
the sight of God. Okay. So, um, modesty.
I I chose modesty for this um because
it's talking about being the adorment of
the inner person, not the outward
person. And so you can be modest on the
outside and beautiful on the inside,
right? You can be plain on the outside
and and and
glowing and gorgeous on the inside.
Um and so you know you can be homely on
the outside and be beautiful on the
inside.
Okay. So the inward beauty is much more
important to focus on than the outward
beauty. And we live in a world where uh
women are constantly
uh being
being sold beauty products. You know,
you need this makeup, you need this
hairstyle, you need this jewelry, you
need this clothing.
All these things are done to try to
beautify the outside, you know, and even
pushing surgery, you know, pla various
plastic surgeries to be done to enhance
your out outer beauty.
That's not what a godly woman seeks
after, though. She's not seeking after
outward beauty. She's seeking after
inward beauty. Now, it's it's not saying
you you need to be ugly or homely.
That's not his point. He's saying don't
focus on the outward beauty. Focus on
the inward beauty.
Um and so, uh modesty isn't just about
clothing. Um it's about our attitude,
how we walk in humility and gentle
gentleness and self-control.
Okay. Modesty is about um how we
interact with other people. Um you're
not arrogant, you're humble, you're
you're not um
harsh or cruel, you're gentle and kind.
Um you're not quick-tempered and uh
or or um
give quickly into temptation. But you
you have self-control and you are um
you're calculated and controlled and
precise in your behavior. You are
disciplined.
Um
the inner beauty is a heart posture.
Okay? It's it's it's how your heart is
postured towards God and how your heart
is postured towards your husband.
Um and and it's
It's a a beautiful submission
to God's authority and God's um
provision.
Um outward beauty is superficial and
fleeting but inward beauty is what has
lasting
uh value. Right? And so you know um the
Bible talks about how beauty is vain,
beauty is fleeting
and it this outward beauty is you know
it's here today and gone tomorrow.
You know you may be the most you know
beautiful
um
model or uh beauty contest winner in the
world. You know, you may you may have
won awards and prizes and trophies for
your outward beauty,
but at some point you're going to get
old. At some point you're going to get
wrinkled. At some point you're going to
get gray. You may get fat. You may lose
some of your hair. You may grow hair in
places that you don't like.
Um, your teeth may fall out. All kinds
of things can happen to your outward
beauty.
Your outward beauty can go away really
quickly. You could get into a car wreck
and get your face smashed and it
destroyed. You could get fall into a
fire and be burned and your and your
skin be torched and and and
damaged. Uh you could be attacked by
dogs and and and your face be marred up
and scarred.
There's all kinds of things that can
happen to your outward beauty. It
doesn't last. It's not permanent.
It can it can go away
very quickly.
But the inward beauty, that's the one
that's important to focus on because
people can't can't steal that from you.
People can't destroy that. Inward
beauty, you don't lose in a car wreck.
Inward beauty, you don't lose uh in a
fire. Inward beauty, you don't lose when
you're attacked and mauled by dogs.
Inward beauty doesn't fade with age.
Inner in inner beauty doesn't gain
wrinkles.
Inner beauty doesn't get fat and ugly.
Inner beauty doesn't grow hair in weird
places. Okay? Inner beauty is beauty
that that lasts and that's about your
character and that's about your love and
that's about your peace and that's about
your joy.
It's about the the fruit of the spirit
being cultivated inside of you. That's
the inner beauty.
Um
the next thing which ties in with inner
beauty is that she is content and
thankful. This is number 10. Okay, this
is the last one on my list and this is 1
Timothy 6
and verse 6.
Now godliness with contentment is great
gain.
Okay. godliness with contentment is
great gain. And so being content is
extremely important and considered
godly.
Um
and then 1 Thessalonians 5
and verse 8 18.
In everything give thanks for this is
the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Okay. So in everything give thanks. Uh
so a godly wife resists
the
uh the temptation of discontentment. She
resists the pull of discontentment
and the the natural inclination to try
to compare herself or what she has with
someone else or what they have. Okay. A
godly wife is content.
She she's content with what God has
given her. She knows that God
um that God is in control and that God
has given her the family she has. God
has given her the house she has. God has
given her uh the financial situation she
has. God has given her all that she has
and she's content with that.
And she's not
seeking
and coveting what someone else has.
And this is this is something that's um
I think very important to to understand
is that godliness is linked with
contentment. Being content whatever your
circumstance Paul says I've learned to
be content no matter what my
circumstance is whether uh wellfed or
hungry whether uh in prison or free
whether um
you know in in tribulation or
you know when things are going well. He,
you know, in whatever the circumstance,
you know, he he gives all these back and
forth arguments about, you know, whether
um, you know, some things are going good
or whether things are going bad, I I'm
content
because I he trusts in the Lord. And
that's the way we need to be is we need
to be content no matter what the
circumstance.
Be content because we're trusting the
Lord.
And this is tied in with patience as
well
because so many times we get impatient
with our circumstance.
And oh, how long, oh Lord, am I going to
have to be in this situation?
That's discontentment. We need to learn
how to be content no matter what
circumstance we're in and trust the Lord
through it and say, "You know what, God?
You got me here for a reason. I'm going
to trust you through it and I'm going to
be content knowing that you you placed
me here for a reason and I'm going to
rejoice in this. I'm going to celebrate
in this and and know that that you are
you are in control and that you have my
best at heart.
And so, you know, maybe he has you going
through this difficult time
to show you a lesson. Maybe has you
going through this difficult time so
that you can empathize with someone
else. Um,
you know, there's there's probably
hundreds of reasons why you might be
going through something. Trust the Lord
that he knows what he's doing.
Um, and a godly wife gives thanks. She's
thankful in all all circumstances. And
so, it's in everything give thanks. It's
not just when things are good, give
thanks. It's in everything give thanks.
And so being being thankful
and everything, you know, um
your husband lost his job. Be thankful
that he had a job. Be thankful that he
can get another one. Be thankful that
you have a husband.
There's all kinds of reasons to be
thankful. You don't have to be thankful
that he lost his job, but you can be
thankful for what you do have.
Um,
you know, you're
you had to spend a bunch of money on
clothing because your kid outgrew their
clothing. Be thankful that you have a
kid. Be thankful that you had money to
spend on clothing. Be thankful that you
were able to provide for your kids
clothing. There's all kinds of things to
be thankful for.
Um but just look for reasons to be
thankful. And so a woman who is content
and thankful doesn't
um complain about what she lacks and she
doesn't resent
her role or or what she has or what she
doesn't have.
Um she is grounded and anchored
in gratitude.
Okay. She is uh she has a solid
foundation to stand on because she is
thankful because she is grateful to God.
And gratitude to God is a fantastic
place to to be because you can be joyful
in many circumstances if you learn how
to have gratitude and be content. That's
where joy and peace come from is knowing
how to have gratitude and and thankful
and uh contentment.
Okay. Um,
okay. So, a godly woman is content in
every situation and she is thankful in
all circumstances.
That is part of a godly wife. And so,
um, let me go ahead and just review all
10 of these real quick. Um, a godly wife
fears the Lord. Number one. Number two,
she is trustworthy. A trustworthy
partner. Okay, her husband can trust
her. Uh, number three, she is
industrious
and not idol. she is a hard worker. Uh
number four, she submits willingly and
honors her husband. Number five, she
speaks with wisdom and kindness. Number
six, she is clothed with strength and
dignity. Okay, she uh she's not
belittling herself and thinking poorly
of herself, but she has strength and
dignity um
and strong character. She is number
seven. She is a godly wife is a helper
um not an enemy or a competitor. She's a
helper. Uh, number eight, a godly wife
builds her home. She doesn't tear it
down. She builds it up. And a go. Number
nine, a godly wife is modest and
respectful. She has inner beauty. A
godly wife has inner beauty. And number
10, she is content and thankful. Okay,
so there there are the the 10 top 10 um
reasons or top 10 characteristics of a
godly wife.
Um, and so, uh, hopefully that was
helpful. Um, and I know, uh, again, I
didn't have time for Q&A. And also, I'm
I'm mentioning now, um, if you didn't
notice, tonight I did a membersonly
chat. Um, I'm going to go back to doing
the live streams as members only. And
so, if you want to participate in future
live streams, uh, they're going to be
members only. Um, and I'm going to try
to do uh, you know, at least every every
few weeks I'm going to do a dedicated
Q&A because I know whenever I get into
these topics and I get long, I don't
always have time for a Q&A at the end.
And so, um, I'm going to every every so
often I'm going to do a dedicated Q&A
where the whole video is just answering
questions. And so I may do that once a
month or so probably. Um, and so be
looking forward to that. But um
I've decided to go ahead and make these
members only. So if you want to be a
part of the chat, uh you need to sign up
and be a member and you'll be able to
participate in the chat.
Um let's talk about next week.
And so this week we talked about what it
is to be a godly wife. And so next week
we're going to talk about what it is to
be a godly husband. Um and so I hope I
hope this was helpful this week. And I
hope next week will be helpful as well.
Um, thank you for joining me uh tonight
and I will and I look forward to seeing
you next week. All right, thanks guys.
Have a good night. Thank you for joining
me on Let's Talk Biblical. If you
enjoyed this episode, then share it with
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going. Be sure to subscribe so you don't
miss anything. And I look forward to
chatting with you again next week. Until
next time, keep talking biblical.
Shalom.